Category Archives: History

Debunking the 3-4 (Make it Stop)

They're wearing police uniforms. It doesn't exactly capture the essence of the 2012 Saints, does it?

I told you, didn’t I?  Loomis is king, man.  I thought he was done for now, but even I underestimated the guy.  How good do you have to be at your job when a blog anointing you as the one true Football God underestimates your ability?  I had already forgotten about Hawthorne.  We got our guy.  Weakened that franchise-not-to-be-named in that funny-smelling city to the North and East, while making a huge leap on defense ourselves.  And then, when nobody was looking, boom goes the dynamite.  Hawthorne’s a Saint.  The crowd goes wild.

Amazing.

But with that final (or not?) piece in place at the linebacker position, the old phenomenon rears its ugly head.  Every time a team signs an inordinate number of linebackers in one offseason, the fans start howling with joy.  “THREE FOUR!” they proclaim.  Yep, we have more linebackers than we need, so we must be going to a 3-4 base set.  Come on over and sit down.  We need to talk.

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It’s Appeal Week (now with bongos)

As punishment for bountygate, Sean Payton is forced to participate in a Jimmy Buffett concert.

It’s appeal week, Who Dats.  And every one of us has a different opinion on what’s going to happen behind the closed doors of the commissioner’s office.  Will Payton and Loomis and Vitt go in and let the commissioner have it?  Will they throw red paint on the commish’s new suit and be dragged out by their heels screaming “Hypocrite!” while Goodell’s secretary gasps in horror?  Or will they go groveling to the man on their knees, begging for their jobs, as one local media member suggests from atop a horse so high it defies the laws of physics?

I don’t know.  We’ll never know.  One must assume that someone within the organization has actually seen the document that we’re supposed to believe is 50,000 pages long.  (Let’s see.  I have a 500-page ream of paper on my desk right now.  Just eyeballing it, I’d say it’s about an inch or so thick.  Has anyone seen a Fed-Ex guy with an 8-foot stack of paper enter the Saints facility?) 

We haven’t seen that evidence, and judging from this scrupulous league office’s history, there are a dozen interns shoveling paperwork into a burn pit at a pace that would make State Farm executives blush so that we never will.  We’re told that there are emails, and some game notes, and, uh, well, 49,901 more pages of very damning stuff, or something.

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