Maybe the only good guy left.
Audiotapegate? Team meetinggate? Speechgate? What should we go with today? This audio tape is such garbage. It has produced the best faux outrage of any development in the bounty saga, and that’s saying a hell of a lot. When a guy named “QBKilla” on twitter started hollering about the most “egregious thing in the history of the game,” the hyperbolemeter quit working. “<<Error: hyperbole unmeasurable>>” The media are piling on, again, and boy, isn’t the timing perfect. Shut up. Everyone just stop it. Stop pretending every new development is shocking. The only thing shocking about the Gregg Williams audio was just how bad Gregg Williams was at pregame speeches. Jesus. No wonder our defense sucked. “Uninspiring” is an understatement.
Realize something: I’m not saying that I like what Gregg Williams says in the video. That needs to be made clear. If you can’t win a game without targeting another players freakin’ ACLs, you probably aren’t doing your job very well (and we all know the quality of Williams’s work over the last two years). Sure, it happens a lot. The Giants targeted concussions specifically within a week of this speech, it was reported heavily, and nothing happened. Bounties have existed for years; just turn on NFL network for a few minutes and I’m sure you’ll see a pretty lame Top Ten countdown glorifying them in some way between ridiculously-long commercial breaks. That said, no amount of history or the existence of any culture excuses Williams’s speech. He was out of control, a lunatic – and I’m glad he is no longer in New Orleans. But he’s not the biggest piece of trash we’ve heard from in the last 24 hours. We’ll get to that soon.
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As punishment for bountygate, Sean Payton is forced to participate in a Jimmy Buffett concert.
It’s appeal week, Who Dats. And every one of us has a different opinion on what’s going to happen behind the closed doors of the commissioner’s office. Will Payton and Loomis and Vitt go in and let the commissioner have it? Will they throw red paint on the commish’s new suit and be dragged out by their heels screaming “Hypocrite!” while Goodell’s secretary gasps in horror? Or will they go groveling to the man on their knees, begging for their jobs, as one local media member suggests from atop a horse so high it defies the laws of physics?
I don’t know. We’ll never know. One must assume that someone within the organization has actually seen the document that we’re supposed to believe is 50,000 pages long. (Let’s see. I have a 500-page ream of paper on my desk right now. Just eyeballing it, I’d say it’s about an inch or so thick. Has anyone seen a Fed-Ex guy with an 8-foot stack of paper enter the Saints facility?)
We haven’t seen that evidence, and judging from this scrupulous league office’s history, there are a dozen interns shoveling paperwork into a burn pit at a pace that would make State Farm executives blush so that we never will. We’re told that there are emails, and some game notes, and, uh, well, 49,901 more pages of very damning stuff, or something.
Sean Payton weeps for Favre's poor wittle ankle
Let me introduce myself to the two of you who found this blog who don’t already know me. I’m a lifelong Saints fan, and I’m getting sick of all this crap. That’s all you really need to know for now. I’ve never written a blog post in my life, and I don’t know if I’ll ever write one again, but I need to get this off my chest. It really doesn’t even matter if anyone ever reads it – because it’ll make me, a Saints fan, feel better, and Saints fans are all any Saints fan should be concerning himself with right now anyway.
See, I frequent a big Saints forum. In the days after “bountygate” (what a stupid friggin’ name for it) broke, I was as mad as any Saints fan out there. I found myself angry at the coaches, at the players, and at the staff for putting my dearly beloved team in this position. But the members on that message board didn’t see it that way – they blamed the commish (“nazi!”) for bringing down these penalties on just us, the East Coast Media Elites for making something out of nothing, the whiners in Minnesota and Arizona who were mad about their precious quarterbacks getting bobos after playing the mean ol’ Saints.
I didn’t understand – I thought that our organization had brought it on themselves, and I didn’t get the anger at everyone else. Maybe I just didn’t want to believe that the whole league was out to get us. After all, what kind of future does that foretell if nobody wants the Saints to succeed?